Memories in the Making

The last few months have seen a pretty significant number of hallmark events, memories, and soon-to-be epic stories that I could tangibly feel becoming family/personal lore as I was experiencing them. This kind of self-awareness is novel to me and I can't really recall when else I'd had this feeling except my college graduation a few years back.

The short-list of memories includes:

-Staying up all night for bro's graduation
-Post-graduation road trip across the US of A (Pittsburgh to LA in 36 hours, whoo!)
-Cousin's wedding and post-wedding bar hopping with family patriarchs
-Laker's championship and my attendance of Game 2 (the Courtney Lee layup)
-My parent's 30th wedding anniversary party and all the epic times that endured there

These are hallmark events as much for their context as much as their good times. Of course I'm going to remember the trip to see my brother graduate or my cousin get married-they're important people in my life and it will be something we can reminisce about for years to come-but there's a deeper reason why these memories will be the ones I focus on when I'm old and grey: the narrow windows in my life where I get to see these people.

I mean, and let's be honest with ourselves here, we see less and less people as we age. Once you have kids, forget about it - you maybe get a couple of escapes a year if you're lucky, but there is a steady growth throughout our lives in responsibilities and time commitments. After college, good lucky getting 4 months off every summer. Once you have a wife, fat chance you'll see your buddies 5 nights a week to gamble, watch sports, and shoot the shit. Add in the fact that many of your best friends and family members will disperse around the globe, requiring special trips to see them, and what chance do we have to really keep in touch long term?

My cousin's wedding was special because it tied two people who truly love each other together, but for me it was particularly special because I got to see family members I hadn't seen in nearly 10 years for the first time as an adult. It was the night of the reception that I first realized how truly small our window of interaction can be with people, even people that are critically important. I see my grandparents maybe 3x a year, for instance. As we age, that window gets smaller except for a select few that can stay in your inner circle. This realization dawned on me and I came to an important conclusion: carpe diem.

So cliche, I know, but far from trite. I mean carpe diem more narrowly than the traditional notion of living life to the fullest; to me, carpe diem is a mantra for maximizing the opportunities we have with the people around us and recognizing how limited they can be. At my cousin's wedding, I forced my family to go out after the wedding for some drinks and it ended up being a great story we'll tell at reunions for the rest of our lives. How many of these opportunities have we passed up in our lives only to realize the window for seeing our friends and loved ones was smaller than we once thought?

When I started work, I had a tight-knit group that started with me and we all seemed destined be one unit, hanging out all the time and really enjoying each other's company. Two years later, I feel I haven't made enough of an effort and am not nearly as close as I wish I'd been. Some of my friends have left and so has my opportunity to get to know them better. I'm not trying to lament about friends lost and friends made, we all make choices and have to live with them; rather, I'm trying to impress the importance of making the most of the chances we've got.

That's why I took the opportunity of my parent's 30th wedding anniversary this weekend to really make the best impression that I could with the guests I had never met or hadn't seen in years. I took the time to have short 5 minute conversations with people to get to know them and see who I am a bit. Obviously I couldn't talk to all 110 people, but I think I did about as well as could be expected catching up with people, meeting new ones, and generally trying to maximize that time while still enjoying myself and checking out the dance floor. And, you know what, I think they appreciated the effort too.